The trees danced as the wind blew. It was so peaceful that it was mostly pin drop silence. The sun smiled and the clouds were magnolia white as all there could be heard was the whispering wind. During non-peak hours, it is a haunted mansion but when the time comes, it is a shopping centre. The coconut trees swayed peacefully, just like they do on the beach and the plants just stood there, waiting for people to pass by. The whole scenery is amazing, it is just as good as going to the beach and relaxing as the atmosphere is so peaceful and there are equipment for you to sunbathe. The pool is a lap pool, where people trained their swimming skills and when people are there, it is also a nice sight to see people chatting around and the trees also start welcoming them with open arms. It is such a nice sight that just by looking at it, it relieves your stress and makes you happy again when you feel sad. This is my favorite spot as the deep blue color of the pool are like stress balls where you can squeeze them as hard as you want to relief your stress. So how does it link to my identity? Being a Hwa Chong student, there is sure to be a lot of stress in keeping up with the work and thus, this spot has been helping me pass my school life.
Hi Keng Jin,
ReplyDeleteI really like your description of the scenery, it's almost as if you're describing that of a tropical island!
However, some of the phrases you use are a little cliche, such as "magnolia white clouds". There are also some grammatical errors but they are rather minor.
I enjoyed reading this and I think that your use of personification, like the sun "smiling", and the trees "swaying peacefully" and "welcoming with open arms". It is almost as if you transported me to a quiet beach or a peaceful atmosphere, just by your use of vocabulary. There are some quite unusual comparisons too, such as the deep blue colour of the pool being like stress balls, where you can squeeze them as hard as you want to relieve stress. You can't possibly squeeze the deep blue spots of the pool!
I wished that you would write slightly more detailed for your link to your identity, but I understand that it is very tough to write about that, so keep up the good work, and do watch out for your grammar and spelling!
Daryl Ware